I’ve heard good things about Short Stop Hamburgers in Colorado Springs, CO from many people for a while now so I decided to check it out today. Unfortunately they failed at delivering good service and good food.

I’m a weird, obsessive compulsive person so I order my cheeseburgers plain. It’s something I’ve done forever and I believe that a good burger shouldn’t need any of that extra junk on top of it to make it taste better.

Apparently in Short Stop land plain means you get ketchup, mustard, and possibly even mayonnaise on your burger. I had already driven away by the time I discovered this, assuming they were smart enough to know what plain means. I decided to just go with it and scraped it off.

After getting past the awful mustard taste the burger didn’t really satisfy. It wasn’t exceptional, it wasn’t very tasty. It was just a regular old frozen meat patty. McDonalds makes better burgers than this.

On to the fries. While they were nice and greasy (just they way I like em), they didn’t taste like much of anything. They could have used a little more salt and they even seemed as if they were frozen.

So Short Stop Hamburgers failed at delivering what I ordered, and at delivering a tasty burger. Maybe next time I’ll just stop at Big Kahuna Burger

A friend and I have found the secret behind the success of Mexican restaurants. You know how there are always people at Mexican restaurants? And how they never seem to go out of business, but instead are constantly multiplying? It’s because of the music.

Yes, the Mariachi and Tejano music that is played in Mexican restaurants across the nation is the secret to their great success. We have studied this in depth and have come upon this explanation.

When you are listening to Mariachi and Tejano music you are happy. You will be in a general state of calm and happiness until you stop listening to the music. At that point you will begin to become upset. You will not know why you are upset and try and do all you can to stop it. The only way of course is to listen to more Mariachi or Tejano music.

While you are in the general state of calm and happiness in side the restaurant you are pretty much willing to do anything. Since there is so much food around, you will naturally eat it. The food combines with the music and causes you to feel even happier. You will want to continue eating the food because if you don’t you will start to become unhappy. Thus you will continue eating and eating until you are absolutely stuffed, or the restaurant closes.

After eating in so many Mexican restaurants you begin to come conditioned to the music. If you happen to hear it passing by somewhere or on the radio, your body will start to remember what happens when you hear the music: happiness and food. You will instantly become hungry and need to eat somewhere. It does not matter what kind of food you eat with the music, they work together to make you happy.

Any restaurant can take advantage of this. We have listened to this music while eating food from other restaurants and experienced the same effects. If every restaurant were to play this music they would become more profitable and attract many more customers. Customers would stay to eat longer and they would sell much more food than they do now.

This is a secret that I am now giving away freely. You can increase your restaurant’s profits by simply playing Mariachi or Tejano music in your building. When you become successful, please remember the countless hours of research we put into this and consider sending us some food or gift certificates to your restaurant. (And I am totally serious about this whole post.)